Love for my children the day they were born saying they can do anything I will continue to love them. Be disappointed but always love them. It’s the kisses, the hugs, the pain their hatred causes but to still look at them and say I love you. It’s the tears and pain you feel when you want them to stop crying. It’s the I will do anything for you. Now the two men I married to there was never love. The love I thought I felt was distorted. The love I thought they expressed was infatuation.who showed me love. R.L.Stine showed me love by not loving me. It’s the I care about your life. I am going to help you become a better person kind of love. The even though you hurt me I am not leaving you or holding it against you forever. I will do all I can do to shield you from harm. Ev en though we may not agree we will compromise. Non judgemental, unconditional, There for me when I need you. Willing to walk through a fire or take a bullet for each other. Talk for hours, Earth stands still when you are together. If one is hurting there is a feeling deep inside your soul prompting you . Thoughts of each other at the same moment though you are 3000 miles away. At the beginning the love was a one way street then we realized what love was. Lovie is I am there for you when your grandparent dies or you get awful news. When the whole world could not understand this one person can. This definition of Love tends to be what I wanted it to be not what it really is. Then I realized this too is not love but infatuation and came to the conclusion the only one who loves me is God himself. I do know what Gods love is. Two pages on love and I don’t even know what it is. Its easier to say what it is not.
To tie into my previous blog on Yes I partake in Lent…..No I am not Catholic I kinda want to delve into the subject of individuality. I, as an individual try my hardest not to be judgemental of any particular religion. I was reading a blog yesterday and the writer wrote: I don’t want the voice in my head that sometimes questions whether my God is the “right one” when I’m certain that there’s a girl somewhere whose Muslim or some other religion. ( Click here to finish reading) My spirituality is defined by the individual relationship I have with my God. I do believe my God is the one and only true God and with that my responsibility is to act in Peace and Love. I am not at peace if I am arguing with others about whose God is right. Now my God does call me to a fulfill a great commission. Fulfilling that great commission has nothing to do with numbers. We are not going to stand before God and Him say Ruth brought 700 people to Christ and Miranda only brought 1. Ruth you may enter, Miranda you may not. God looks at Ruth and says you brought 700 people to Christ , job well done. Miranda you brought 1 to Christ job well done. God would never compare his children.. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I am only responsible for planting the seed and God makes the seed grow. God only utilizes me to grow some seeds not all of them and most times not even the ones I had planted. Beware: Individuality could be my worse enemy as well if i fail to protect it. If i get wrapped up in my individuality without God I become selfish and my spiritual life will suffer. This can come in the form of choosing to stay home and watch online services. I will still read my spiritual growth books and study my bible, but alone! i have in the past fallen into the I can do it all on my own trap. This sets me apart from fellowship with my brothers and sisters and will stunt my spiritual growth. If I am not growing I am not fulfilling Gods plans for my life. So to recap my relationship with God is an individual choice only I can make. Once I make this choice God treats me as an individual. My relationship with God is only between him and I. The relationship is not a threesome which involves Ruth, God, and I. This would cause great spiritual pain, envy, and feelings of inadequacy. I worship God on an individual basis. I love God on an individual basis. I give him my all as an individual. When I worship, pray, meditate the world stands still and its only him and I. To realize individuality is to realize that Christ died on the cross for me and only me. The greatest gift of all is realizing he loves me as an individual. I encourage you to delve into your own individuality with God!
If you have never felt the love God can give you as an individual and want to know how click here
“Are you Catholic or Protestant?”
Lent is a religious observance coming from the latin term Quadragesima meaning Fortieth. Lent is the season lasting from Ash Wednesday to Holy Saturday. Holy Saturday is Easter Eve. During the season of Lent Christians reflect in daily devotion and commit to total repentance of sin by engaging in self-denial. Many of us choose to fast from certain things in life to bring the reality of God’s greatest gift to life. Christian’s normally choose to give up something that is hindering their walk with God. The biblical origin of Lent comes from the New Testament Gospels Matthew , Mark , and Luke in which Jesus Spent 40 days in the desert being tempted by Satan.
Matthew 4:1-11 (NIV)
Jesus Is Tested in the Wilderness
4 Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. 2 After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. 3 The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.”4 Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.5 Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. 6 “If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down. For it is written:
“‘He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.7 Jesus answered him, “It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.8 Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. 9 “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.”10 Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.11 Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.
When I gave up social media last month (see New Year’s Fast. ) I became exactly who I needed to be to finish out this year strong. Now being in the second month of the year I am proud to say I have not withered one bit and plan on continuing to grow through this Lenten season to a mighty woman of God. Once again I have chosen to give up Social Media. After being back on Facebook and Instagram for the past month I decided Social Media is once again a great distraction in my relationship with God. God is working in my life in an extraordinary way and I would encourage you to take the time during this season to give up something as well. Fast along with me in remembrance of Jesus and his temptation in the desert. Become the person God has called you to be. This is possible by just giving up one thing in your life as an act of self-denial. If you need help deciding what to give up here is a list of ideas.
If your in need of making a fresh commitment to Christ and accepting the grace God has given us , click here
Today hasn’t exactly went as planned. My day actually started at the end of my work shift last night. I got off a half hour early cause business was extremely slow. My total income for the night was $25 which only amounted to half of a bill overdue. In some ways I was happy I didn’t make it to church last sunday as I still had my tithe tucked away in an envelope in my purse. On the other hand I was forced to borrow God’s money and take control of a situation. This is never good.For this I am feeling much guilt. So maybe I did slap God in the face a little. At least I know I am forgiven. See finances is one thing God has been working with me on lately. Finances and time management. I tell you I am a hot mess! Oh yeah we are also working on my addiction to social media. So I went by the bank deposited $50 into my bank account and headed home. As I got into bed under the covers I managed to achieve my nightly goals of evening devotion and 15 minutes of reading. I really didn’t want to put my book down but I did. I fell fast asleep. My morning began later than usual. Reading blogs and text messages before even doing my morning devotion.Tsk Tsk. I spoke to a friend on the phone in an awesome God-given conversation but it threw me all off whack. I spent one too many hours on Facebook and before I knew it the time had gotten away from me. I received my afternoon text from my mom asking about lunch and my response was I hadn’t eaten yet. During my couple hours on Facebook I did manage sneak in a few goldfish crackers I had beside my bed but nope at 1 pm still no lunch. I finally convinced myself to get off Facebook , but not before leaving a crazy status update. The status read ” my goodness this day is running by so fast. I am off schedule and dealing with way to much.Please keep me in prayer , there is a lot I am wrestling with right now.Thanks, God Bless.” After posting my insane Facebook status I began working on my financial budget. Can anyone say, “HEADACHE!” I am not sure how I am surviving financially these days. This has to be by the grace of God even though I borrowed his money last night. I spent a good hour on finances. I was looking for my In Touch Magazine and came across my bag of Trail Mix. Darn it, I still havent eaten yet. So I grabbed the Trail Mix and headed over to WordPress. Now I am reading over blogs and picking the M&Ms out of my Trail Mix. I wonder why they put the little buggers in there to begin with. I am starting to notice the mix is becoming less of a mix and more of just M&Ms. So that is how I spent my Thursday afternoon. In another fifty minutes I will be showering and heading to work. Hopefully I will be blessed with enough money to pay God back and add what he is owed for the night. Have a good night y’all.
~ MATTHEW 26:17-30~