New Year, New You

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

~ 2 Corinthians 5:17~

 

The last 15 days my church had challenged us to do a fast as a tribute to the New Year. They were believing for great advancements for not just the church but the church body as well. I chose to fast social media. I was a little apprehensive considering facebook seems to be my modern-day crack. I literally went through withdrawal symptoms as any addict would. I am proud to say I  made it through. It was difficult at first but I was happy to enjoy the increase in my spirituality. We were challenged to spend at least 15 minutes a day in devotion. I replaced my facebook time with more wholesome Godly activities such as reading books, devotions, and spending time in prayer. This actually led to probably fifteen hours with God instead of fifteen minutes. This showed me how even though I was not as close to God last year,  His hand was still active in guiding me all throughout 2014.During the fast I was able to reflect on my completed goals for 2014 and make God inspired goals for 2015.  . On New Years Day 2014 I declared I would find love. Come January 2015 I am still single, So did I find love? I sure did! I found how God is  LOVE  , I figured out how to LOVE others beyond belief, even to LOVE the ones who had hurt me in the past, but most importantly I found a deep LOVE  for myself.  Along with falling in love with all the right people in 2014, I made great progress career wise. I passed my PTCE making myself a Certified Pharmacy Technician. I completed my churches leadership program and made great advancements in my spiritual life. I became more committed to my church as well as fulfilling the great commission. During my fasting season I had been reminded of August 2014 when I hit an advancement wall. By this time all my goals had been achieved.  I needed to set out to make new goals so I didn’t remain idle. I had learned 2 important things from this reflection. 1) I learned that throughout the year God will write many goals onto our heart and we are to obey them completely. This benefits us not just spiritually but mentally as well.  2) I need to resolve to make stronger goals for 2015. The fast gave me a chance to look back at my achievements and to look forward to my future. With all of our successes  in 2014 I am looking forward to celebrate our successes in 2015!

A Generous Heart

                                         

“They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything–all she had to live on.”

                                                                     ~Mark 12:24~

 

My children haven’t always had a lot . Both have been homeless living in a motor home not knowing where their next meal was coming from. Some adults have not even been where my children have been nor seen what my children have seen.  We were eating a nice meal at TGI Fridays when the Balloon Animal Artist came by.  At that moment realizing that we had no extra cash we politely declined.  My children’s Aunt dug in her purse and pulled out $2. She gave a dollar to each child. My son was adamant about getting a  balloon dog. My daughter politely asked if she may save her dollar for something else. The Aunt approved and my daughter stuck her dollar in her purse. As we all sat there observing the lady making a my son’s balloon,  my son kept saying he was going to pop it. He gave the lady the dollar and played with his new balloon puppy. We did get  him to exit the restaurant and walk over by the car before he decided to demolish the little thing. I guess boys will be boys. We asked my daughter what she was going to do with her dollar.  She contemplated getting something from the local dollar store. We had to pick up a few items for the children and the aunt and I were having an in-depth conversation so we walked over to Wal-Mart. As we entered the store, the  Salvation Army Bell ringer was outside. My 14 year old Angel pulled the dollar out her purse and dropped it in the bucket. It was a proud mommy moment. She had decided to give. Then she asked me ” Do you know why I give?” I said ” Why ,Honey?” She said “Because I know what its like to not have!” Unfortunately my children do know what it’s like to live in poverty, however it has sparked a generous spirit within my daughter.

Two weeks later and again my Angel was at Wal-Mart. This time she was with her grandmother and brother. Her grandmother called me on the telephone to tell me what had just happened with my daughter. She begins to tell me that they came in contact with a lady walking through the parking lot asking for money. I stop my mother mid story and said ” she gave the lady money?” My mother confirmed  with a puzzled tone in her voice. I said “I know, she’s a giver, she gave into the bucket at Wal-Mart a few weeks ago!” I am so proud to know that my daughter has such a wonderful characteristic about her, A generous Heart. Looking back, my daughter has always been a generous soul. She has always wanted to give her old toys to other children in need. She loves making sure her brother has everything he needs. The next time you see a donation bucket or someone asking for money, just think of the generous heart of a child. If a child can do this why can’t we? If children can understand this concept, why do we as adults have a hard time understanding it?

Divine Intervention

” It’s not love unless you feel some sort of pain for a soul so lost in a world of despair, you choose to pray for the one who has hurt you just as much as they have hurt themselves.”

 

The text read ” I have smoke meth every day for the past year now, I am up to a 1/2 oz a of meth daily. I have never been to this place before. If I don’t get help, I realize I am signing my own death certificate.”  When I read this my eyes filled up with tears. It was so heart wrenching.   I had been praying for this man, but is praying all I should have been doing? Maybe I should have resolved to do more?  He admits he needs help yet still continues on this path of self-destruction. He has even been labeled as being a threat to himself.  He is definitely at his lowest point and continues to  believe I am getting exactly what I want. . I have prayed for this man and I continue to pray for this man. In deep prayer for him the holy spirit pulled at my heart-strings. The spirit prompted me to send him a message of love. I struggled with this for 2 days. I knew he had hurt me a lot in the past.  I was not in the mood to have confrontation with him. After praying and  careful consideration I sent him a text. The text read ” God loves you B___ and I am praying for you. Sorry you are hurting.”  It would take  12 hours before I would get a response. As suspected the response was a blatant character assassination. God gave me peace in reading the message and self control in replying.  I chose not  to engage him. He is sick and does not know what he is doing.  It would be one day later he checked himself into a 90 day rehabilitation  program. It was a divine intervention. It’s not love unless you feel some sort of pain for a soul so lost in a world of desperation you choose to pray for the one who has hurt you just as much as they have hurt themselves.  I continue to  pray for this man daily that he makes it through the program and finds himself and a new identity in Christ Jesus.

My Identity in Being Single

” The antidote to loneliness is not found in marriage, at least not by itself. It is found in our relationship with God who is always with us , the true Lover of our soul. It is found in friends and family . And it is found in the family of faith, the eternal community of the church.”

                                                           ~Peter W. Chin

I have been single for 5 years now . Two failed marriages which brought about  two wonderful children. I often wonder if I am considered a true child of God because of my failed marriages. Upon biblical research I have discovered there are two categories to being single. There is the unmarried and then there is the widow. The unmarried seems to mimic the ones who are yet to be married and has yet to produce offspring. The widow is the woman who lost her husband to death. A widow is more likely to understand a single mother than an unmarried.  But if a single mother has never been married it seems she may not understand the dynamics of marriage therefore may not be as knowledgeable than a widow may be. This is where my  lack of identity in God comes into play. When I see the word unmarried in the bible I can not help but realize that is not the category for me. Then I read about the widow and once again discredit the category. I was beginning to think  I would  never fit in with the world or others in my church. I can sympathize in many ways however I am still not them. I read this article last week and found no encouragement as it was geared towards the unmarried. So that made me think, Am I justifiably single ? Am I loved by God and other Christian believers? Then I received a free download for a book titled .THRIVE. http://livingwithpower.org/products/7-day-thrive-challenge-download/. The book brought into perspective not just the unmarried but the widow as well. Now I had discredited being a widow but the more I read into it my true identity was revealed. I am a widow. Whew, I said it and now I feel like a true child of God.  Yes the man I had married is very much alive physically however he is very much spiritually and emotionally dead inside. I have spent nearly 5 years grieving the death of my marriage. How could anyone in such situations such as myself not qualify as being a widow? Now that I am familiar with identity what’s the next step?

 I was chatting with a co-worker and He told me he had been married once. Been there , done that. If you would have asked me five years ago my response would have been quite similar. Been there done that 2x and I don’t believe third time is the charm. Figuring out who I am as a Christian and my identity is the first key to contentment in being single. One being my relationship with God has grown and I truly believe God has another man in sight for my future. My true love, the one he has intended me to be with all along.   I believe  growth is a main key for me today, But being patient is more important . While patiently awaiting my true prince I focus a lot on becoming a Proverbs 31 Woman. I devote myself daily to becoming  a wonderful wife to my new husband. We are blessed that God loves us enough to trust us with being single. Even the Apostle Paul was content in being single discover for yourself in 1 Corinthians 7.

Simple Prayer:

Lord God Almighty, Thank you for loving me enough to reveal your will for my life. Please help to prepare me to be a Proverbs 31 woman and to stay content during my single years. Help to mold me and shape me into the best wife I can be for my future husband.

In Jesus Name

Amen